This is why I don’t get drunk at holiday parties:
Have a safe and happy New Year!
Archive for December, 2006
Best Thing is Laughing
29
Dec
It’s great to find something that’s not only funny the first time you find it, but keeps popping up in your thoughts throughout the day and making you laugh again.
“So what happens if you have two mobile phones, and you use the first phone to ring one garda station and the second phone to ring another garda station and you hold the two phones together to “talk” to each other?
(NOTE: Garda = the Irish Police force just in case you were wondering.)” Listen here.
Jaysus, meteorites, I’m crying laughing.
Found via Twenty Major.
2007, Year of the Fire Pig
27
Dec
It’s almost 2007, so here‘s something for those of you that like a little online fortune telling. In Chinese astrology, it will soon be the year of the Boar, also known as the ‘Fire Pig.’ (which sounds much more impressive!) I’m a Water Ox (though the site didn’t tell me that, I already knew it), and here’s my forecast for 18th Feb 2007 to 6th Feb 2008 (Chinese Year):
8 out of 10 Oxen have good luck this year. 10 out of 10 Oxen appear attractive and charming to the opposite sex. Read the rest of this entry »
Find the Donkey
26
Dec
Spooky theme, eh? Ghost story still coming up, that’s why. There’s also a donkey included for all you donkey lovers.
I know it’s totally schizophrenic to change the site design so often, but it’s fun to play around.
The banner is a view of the Todra valley, not Tinerhir – most photos of this panorama are incorrectly labelled. There is also a ghost palm tree. Did you know that if you plant a male and female palm tree next to each other, they’ll slowly lean over and intertwine their fronds? It’s like Philemon and Baucis! Also, if a palm stops producing dates, they burn it. The next year, it starts producing again. Seems very human – like someone stuck in a rut, who goes through a “trial by fire,” and changes their life as a result, becoming productive and fruitful again. Hm.
“It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees. – Arab Proverb”
Christmas Weekend Starts…Now!
23
Dec
If you want to make yourself sick with longing, try listening to “White Christmas” and “Blue Christmas” while zipping along the Marrakech-Ouazarzate road in a grand taxi. That was last year. This year, it’s cookies for everyone, and some other nice things:
MISS FOGARTY’S CHRISTMAS CAKE [sing loudly]
As I sat in my window last evening,
The letterman brought it to me
A little gilt-edged invitation sayin’
“Gilhooley come over to tea”
I knew that the Fogarties sent it.
So I went just for old friendships sake.
The first think they gave me to tackle
Was a slice of Miss Fogarty’s cake.
cho: There were plums and prunes and cherries,
There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too
There was nutmeg, cloves and berries
And a crust that was nailed on with glue
There were caraway seeds in abundance
Such that work up a fine stomach ache
That could kill a man twice after eating a slice
Of Miss Fogarty’s Christmas cake.
Miss Mulligan wanted to try it,
But really it wasn’t no use
For we worked in it over an hour
And we couldn’t get none of it loose
Till Murphy came in with a hatchet
And Kelly came in with a saw
That cake was enough be the powers above
For to paralyze any man’s jaws
Miss Fogarty proud as a peacock,
Kept smiling and blinking away
Till she flipped over Flanagans brogans
And she spilt the homebrew in her tay
Aye Gilhooley she says you’re not eatin,
Try a little bit more for me sake
And no Miss Fogarty says I,
For I’ve had quite enough of your cake.
Maloney was took with the colic,
O’Donald’s a pain in his head
Mc’Naughton lay down on the sofa,
And he swore that he wished he was dead
Miss Bailey went into hysterics
And there she did wriggle and shake
And everyone swore they were poisoned
Just from eating Miss Fogarty’s cake!