Hamou and I have spent quite a bit of time discussing the happy topic of children, and one of the main points of contention is where we’ll have them. I vote for the States, for the quality of pre-natal care. He leans toward Morocco, I think because he imagines that he’ll be able to set me up in a private clinic in Casa, slip the doctor some ja’aba, and generally be in control of the situation – which he wouldn’t be here.
However, there is a unique facet of mommydom that makes me more inclined to choose Morocco, and that’s the tendency of mothers to spew their vile opinions to anyone, at any time, and God Help You if you disagree with them. There are several topics that are a sign to run immediately in the opposite direction:
- breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding
- circumcision
- immunizations
- baby sleep therapy
- the labor itself
So why Morocco? Simple – when I don’t want to listen, I conveniently forget every bit of Arabic and Berber that I know. All of the fduli (nosiness) rolls off me like water off a rain slicker. It would be a little bit harder here, as in the case of a exchange about circumcision on one of those horrendous mommy boards:
“MoonJelly” – Should I bring up the topic to an expecting couple over dinner at a restaurant? I may not have a whole lot of face time with these people (my cousin and her husband) and they are expecting a boy. I will see them on Friday and then on Christmas. Their baby is due in March. Can anyone help me get it started? DH will be there too and really wants to help. I also don’t want to “ruin” dinner. Not that it would ruin it for me, but I have no idea how they will take it or where they stand. I would like to start a convo now so that I can follow up with them when we see them again in two weeks.”
“ND_Deadhead” – I think I’d bring it up at dinner. Chances are the pregnancy and baby are going to be topics of conversation anyway. Ask if they have picked out a name; obviously they had an ultrasound (to determine gender), so you can mention how relieved they must have been to see for themselves that the baby was normal, healthy, had all his required parts in the right places. Talk about nursing, back sleeping, etc, and how things have sure changed since our mothers were having babies! In many hospitals, they used to just circumcise all the baby boys, without even asking!
That will provide the opportunity to see how they feel about it, without confrontation. If they express a desire to circumcise, you can say “You know, the circumcision rate is really dropping, now that doctors are realizing that there are no medical benefits. Not only is it comestic surgery, it is dangerous. A baby bled to death in Canada recently after his circumcision, and babies die every year from hemmorage, infection, and other complications.”
First of all, don’t ever try to have a “convo” with me, “mmmkay?” It will end badly for you. Secondly, if anyone tries to ask me a series of disingenuous questions, then blindsides me with stories about babies bleeding to death, per your own agenda – well, you won’t be invited to dinner again, and you’ll be lucky if I don’t stab you in the throat with a fork.
